A first advice is not to make comparisons between siblings. There is also a method that, when there is a fight between the brothers, the parents reassure them and encourage them, as calmly as possible, to explain their reasons.
You have to teach everyone to take into account the other’s feelings and the effects of their behavior on him.
Then you have to encourage them to present their own suggestions for solving the problem. You have to listen patiently and take into account all your ideas, trying to find a solution as satisfactory as possible for both.
Only if they do not generate ideas will we propose ours, but we must encourage them to expose theirs. It is about assimilating that there is always a possible solution, satisfactory for both parties, although both must yield a little, and that they can learn to seek the solution.
To avoid sibling fights, education in values is important and they understand the importance of respecting others. Teach them to share. That they understand that there are things that they have in common, and nothing happens at all. We will all have our time to enjoy things taking turns.
Be equitable by giving them love, not feel that we want more to one than to another regardless of what we share with each one. If one likes the same things that we do, and the other does not, we should look for meeting points to stay connected to him anyway.
It is important the manners, that is, the basis to avoid fights is that they know how to ask for things please and do not remove things abruptly from their hands.
The influences they receive are important. If they see violent drawings, or play games where insults abound, they will learn those behaviors as normal.
You may also be interested, Do your children get along well?
Solution for discussions between brothers in five steps
- Each child exhibits his point of view.
- To make sure that the other one understands it, he repeats it with his own words (if he is very small we help him a little).
- Both children review and weigh the possible solutions (we can also help them).
- Choose an outcome that satisfies both.
- plan how to start it. All with our help, but without replacing them.
It is not very complicated, all parents can try it. The results will not be seen overnight, but they end up seeing.
How to act in conflict situations,
Know them previously and establish rules for these situations (food, car, games, tele ..). What is allowed and what is not, and how should each child act in a concrete way.
Ignore minor disputes. When conflicts arise, use the “countdown” technique. You will say, I count up to 30 to solve the conflict, thirty, twenty-nine … If it is not solved use the “Time Out”, withdrawal of privileges and other measures.
In unacceptable behavior act immediately, in assaults or degrading insults, use, “Time out”, withdrawal of privileges
Teach, in moments of tranquility, how to resolve conflicts, how to ask “please”, reach an agreement … and investigate who is to blame for the disputes, to avoid taking measures always with it.
You can reward yourself, at the beginning the collaboration and good behavior.