Our children need to know that their emotions are good; although, according to what moments, it is more or less pleasant for us to hear his cry, scream or laughter.
But who do they need to receive this permission from? Mainly from their parents. To feel comfortable with their emotions, that is, with their anger, sadness, joys, fears … children need to feel protected. We can achieve this through games, showing them and letting them share our own feelings and accompanying them with gestures, hugs and good communication.
If a child grows up during his childhood with the support of his parents to feel, he will become a teenager who will know how to manage his emotions, since he will have the tools to identify and express what happens to him, grow day after day and promote his good self-esteem .
Share our own emotions
It is important for parents to express their emotions in front of their children. In this way; if they are angry, that they not only say it; but also demonstrate it with an attitude and gestures of anger (always avoiding to blame or scold the child for his displeasure).
For example, we can say with a blunt tone “now I’m angry and I do not feel like playing.” This is not the same as saying “I am angry because of you, or you have made me angry, leave me”.
If a father has been frightened because he has seen his son near a danger, it is good that he explains it and shares his emotion with him, “I thought you were going to cross the street without looking and I was scared”. It is also important that you share and demonstrate your moments of joy and, if you are sad, do not hide “so that the child does not notice it”. It is completely normal to show his sadness and even to explain it briefly “Honey, I’m sad because I’ve lost something I loved a lot.”
In this why, children from very young learn that it is normal to be in some sad or angry moments and that, of course, they are allowed to feel those same emotions. Thus, in addition, we offer you the opportunity to learn to name feelings and integrate that feeling is good, natural and healthy.
Concrete games for emotions
There are specific games that allow you to express and channel certain emotions. For example, in times of fear of the dark it helps to play with lanterns in a dimly lit room, or play hide under a sheet.
Playing to imitate being an aggressive animal that growls and pursues or plays pillow wars, among others, helps to channel aggression or anger.
Draw or doodle the colors of anger, of the things that make you feel bad, of the fears you feel and then break the drawings or put them inside a box, help the child to release the emotions that usually block him, while he feels the loving permission of his parents to talk about it and do it.
Our attitude and reaction to the emotions of children
When a child cries and his father or mother embraces him while giving him messages that support his emotion, “I’m with you, honey, I see something happens to you, what happened to you”, the child feels that he has permission to feel that emotion whatever it may be , sadness, fear, fright, disgust …
This way we show him that we welcome his emotion (later we can find out what made him feel that way) In this way, with our attitude of protection and love, the child learns that he can feel and express in a natural way what is happening to him and that this It is positive for him and for his communication with parents.
Instead; if we cut his cry saying “do not cry honey, nothing happens” or cut it distracted attention with something else “Look, have you seen what happens there?”; The child may feel that his emotion is harmful and that it is not well received by his parents. His feeling is upset, because he does not receive the welcome and understanding that he expected from the adult. Thus, emotion is denied or repressed.